Mon Espoir
by artemiswritesfluff
Summary: A flight to the States, many broken hearts, a member in hospital, oh what ever shall we do? Please continue to read to Chapter 2 where there's a much better summary, after the prologue too!
1. Prologue

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She ran across the courtyard. Nowhere in mind: nowhere to go. She was a nobody. Even her mother couldn't bear to see her hence the fact that she had nowhere to go.

Her mother had dumped her on that worn doorstep about 6 years prior with instructions to not come looking for her.

"My job is dangerous," she said hesitantly, "I can't afford to lose you as well." But what sort of job is dangerous enough to separate mother and daughter? What sort of job was worth abandoning your own child for? She cried herself to sleep enough nights early on when the feeling of abandonment was too strong to bear but now she wouldn't allow herself to do that. "It's a sign of weakness," she vaguely remembered her mother saying, whether it was in a response to her crying or not she couldn't quite remember but it seemed like a good enough rule. Yet another thing that she seemed to do almost subconsciously. It seemed to her that order and discipline was to be strived for even if her fellow students didn't agree. Maybe she got that from her parents? But how would she know after all she'd never met her father and he probably didn't even know that she existed. You see what she means when she says that her life was turning out just great.

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What she didn't know was just how much her mother had missed her. Her mother knew that she couldn't have put her own child in the firing line by keeping her yet she couldn't help regretting that day. The look on her daughter's face as she drove off: her ice blue eyes barely supressing her tears. Ironic, she thought, how much she'd looked like her father in that moment. How much she looked like someone she'd never even met. Someone she deserved to have been introduced to. But that was beside the point.

Sitting in her house alone and regretting that decision was fine, but not in the office. She had a persona to hold onto and that meant no signs of weakness. The sexist pigs would just love to use it against her: to one up her at last. So with trembling hands she wiped her eyes dry and proceeded to open her car door. One last glance back at the photograph she kept in her purse and she had retreated behind her mask.

Now all there was to do was to hope that she didn't pass any of her colleagues i.e. Gibbs, Ducky or DiNozzo before she had fully regained her composure and checked her makeup in one of bathrooms.

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	2. Another Summary

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Now their names I'd decided against revealing,

A simple ploy to keep you reading.

But with the drama so near,

It's best I make it clear I fear.

One comes from a Special Agent's past,

About to make herself truly known at last.

The other is a girl to make her way across the sea,

To set the hearts of her parents free.

One named simply Jenny,

The other called Anna after one drink too many.

Her full name is Annelies but hey what do we care with tradition here?

Even if it's after a grandmother dear.

The other names everyone knows;

How they reign from the bullpen to the labs below.

Abby, Ziva, DiNozzo, McGee,

Ducky, Palmer and Gibbs all in not quite perfect harmony.

So now I'll continue with tales from a time long ago,

Just so we can get to the drama and really flow.

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	3. Chapter 1

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She closed her door, only momentarily aware of it slamming against the door frame. All she'd wanted was a little space today. She'd already broken down in her car whilst in the parking lot but now she had to try to push that all back. And she thought that she'd been managing until he had cornered her in the elevator demanding that she let down, and I quote, her "selfish uncaring ice-cold bitch persona," and when she had objected he'd told her that she was "one disaster of a director."

Blinking back the tears she wondered whether it had been worth giving up everything that she'd ever cared about just so she could reach this chair. Sat in it behind her desk she wasn't sure. Her daughter would be safer where she was and she'd moved on after Gibbs but… still… she didn't feel whole. She longed for the days when neither of them had looked at them with hurt in their eyes. When everything was much simpler and you did what you had to for those you loved.

As she heard the curses fly in the bullpen, she knew it wouldn't be long till she had him standing in front of her berating her once again for her "incompetence." She had tried, she really had, but everyone knows that it's basically impossible to get a warrant from legal first thing on a Monday morning. I mean they had to catch up on the big pile requests from over the weekend, try not to fall asleep and deal with him. Anyone would struggle with that but no, even if they did their best, it wasn't good enough in Gibb's book.

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	4. Chapter 2

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He stormed up the stairs from the bullpen and past Cynthia in the outer office. Right now he couldn't be more pissed at the Director even if it wasn't really her fault… but it was her people. He'd slammed open the door and refused to close it and instead stood glaring at her from in front of her desk. This was why women couldn't handle jobs like this, he thought, or maybe he was just, even 9 years on, smarting from her leaving him on that plane with that damn Dear John letter!

He hated how she made him feel. So he was going to channel that anger and rip her head off. Not literally because that would be a waste of a pretty face and such a kissable neck…

He shook his head to clear those thoughts and, instead of moping on the past, threw the request for the warrant down on the desk in front of her. Glaring at her was hard but worth it when she started to get riled up. Her eyes smouldered and she got right in his face. Up close and personal.

"Excuse me!" She yelled whilst imagining his head on a pike.

"Surely you can do something about this," he taunted, "I mean being the director and all! If you're even halfway capable, that is."

"I don't need you coming in here and acting all bloody high and mighty like you are so much better than me. If you were, you wouldn't have to come to me for help with such a clear-cut case." She replied. There was no way that she was going to give into his incessant demands and abusive behaviour.

"I don't need you! I just thought that maybe you would try to redeem yourself after that whole La Grenouille debacle." He countered with.

"Oh so is that what this is really about? Me not filling your need of being in control by not reading you in?" She returned pissed.

"You hurt the entire agency! You went behind all of our backs and to do what? Drag our names through the mud? Well guess what Madame Director you hurt the team - more specifically you hurt DiNozzo."

"And you didn't? No, of course not, I mean it definitely didn't hurt the team that they found out about your first wife and daughter from Ducky and I. No, not at all! Did that ever occur to you? But, no, you never do anything wrong!" Her voice was starting to waver as she turned to where he stood waiting for her to finish her rant. For a second she thought that she saw a look of guilt pass over his face but it was gone as fast as it came. If only he knew the hurt that he'd caused her, finding out that he'd another daughter. She'd never worried before but she wasn't Shannon and Anna wasn't Kelly. Did that mean they'd never be good enough?

She heard glass smash and Gibbs screaming her name but all she could register was the pain in her side.

A few seconds later when the shooter stopped, deeming their work done, it was only then she began to see the blood covering both her and her former lover. That was it. She screamed. And then everything went black.

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	5. Chapter 3

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Gibbs woke up to blindingly bright lights. He tried to move but was hindered by the IV in his left arm that had been placed there to replenish the severe blood loss from his multiple gunshot wounds that he'd sustained during the shooting. All of the sudden he didn't care about the annoyance of being hooked up but instead started panicking that Jenny- no, the director- hadn't made it. This last thing that he remembered was hearing her screams and seeing her covered in blood. How many times she was hit he couldn't remember, it was still a little hazy, but the shooter had been firing shots in quick succession which had all been fairly close to them. Not accurate enough to have sniper training though.

He hit the button on his bedside to call for assistance. He needed to know if she was ok even if she'd said things to hurt him. She had had no right to bring Shannon and Kelly into the argument and at the end of the day it was none of their business. Surely his team had understood that, but what if they hadn't? Did they hate him for that? Not that they should care of course.

Anyway the whole La Grenouille was much worse as they had been directly involved. It was their business, unlike his family. That was always who they'd be, no one would ever replace them. That he could say with certainty. Afterall there was a reason why he'd never had anymore children. That would've been the ultimate betrayal to their memories.

"Jethro?" A voice pierced his thoughts. He looked to the doorway expecting to see Jenny and to finally be able to relieve himself of his guilt but it was Ducky who stood there. His head bowed but eyes were filled with desperation: desperation to see that at least one of his colleagues was ok. That he didn't have to face losing them both. However much hurt lay between him and them following the Paris mission, Gibbs' coma and the whole La Grenouille debacle.

"She ok?" Gibbs asked his old friend worriedly. Misinterpreting Ducky's head being bowed for the coming of bad news. Well it still was but it wasn't the news of his boss' death that was to come.

"The doctors won't know the full extent of the damage until she wakes up which in light of the blood loss and the resultant brief heart failure will not be as immediate as you have. They think that she'll probably be fine but we'll need to keep an eye on her when she gets out – she will Jethro, she's a fighter – and she will need physiotherapy to regain full control of her body again." Ducky said to try and allay his friend's concerns. "The doctor also said that they found a family member down on her records and so have called her and it seems that she'll be on the next flight here. You know, the funny thing about that is that she never told me of any family, she may have told you but you know, and especially not of someone called Anna… They also said that they expected her to get in sometime tomorrow if we wanted to send someone to pick her up. I'm thinking maybe she is coming from somewhere in Europe. That would explain the flight times I guess-"

"Duck!"

"Alright Jethro. Calm down. The team are outside if you feel that you can cope with any more visitors although Abby has already told the nursing staff that she won't be leaving until she see you and feels that you won't suddenly go downhill and die. A little macabre perhaps but this is Abby we're talking about and she is almost like your daugh-"

"Stop Duck. She isn't my daughter and she won't ever be. I care about her but she's not Kelly. You've got to understand that no one could ever take the space reserved for families in my heart bar Shannon and Kelly and they're gone. Ok?!" He paused for a moment to regain his breath. "You can go now, Duck."

He watched as the M.E. closed the door behind him and sank back into his pillows. He couldn't let anyone get close as it hurt, yet he felt so lonely being so close to them but being unable to let them in. And slowly it caused them to walk away filled convinced that he didn't care and that he didn't want them around.

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End file.
